Forbidden Desire: Why Women Also Have Rape Fantasies
My mind's eye sometimes takes paths that I myself can hardly explain. One of my fantasies revolves around something that is actually an absolute taboo: rape. But I'm not alone with this. Studies show that 5 to 30 percent of people have such fantasies – and this affects not only devout women, but also confident, emancipated women like me.
Why does a fantasy that I fear in reality attract me?
The key lies in control. In my fantasy, I am the one who writes the script. I decide on the perpetrator, the place, the intensity. I am desired, dominated – and yet I am the one who decides what happens. In reality, it would be the opposite: complete powerlessness, fear, trauma. That's exactly why it's so important to clearly separate fantasy and reality.
The appeal of losing control
A common reason for this fantasy is the desire for complete surrender. No hesitation, no guilt – I “don’t” have to do anything, but am simply overwhelmed. For some women, it is a way to explore their desire without social norms. But there are also other motives: playing with fear, the lure of the forbidden or the desire for extreme longing.
Is it permissible to indulge in such things?
Some people act out such fantasies in the form of "rape games" – i.e., consensual staged scenarios of being overwhelmed. But this is risky. Without a safeword, there can be real boundary violations. Even with agreements, fear or a psychological block can make it impossible to stop. In addition, there is a risk that the dominant partner will lose a barrier.
Fantasy vs. reality – a clear boundary
As fascinating as this idea may be, I know that a real rape has nothing to do with it. I have met people affected and know the psychological damage that such an act causes. My fantasy is a game in my head – a real rape is a crime.
Conclusion
Rape fantasies are not equivalent to a desire for real violence. They are a dark, but common mind's eye that many women experience. It is important to be aware of where the boundary lies – and never to cross it.